Friday, 8 July 2016

It's Eid People


Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin everyone!

My first day of Eid went a bit weird but I survived! I'm so happy because of that I don't know why. Hahaha. I did managed to squeeze in a trip to Jiha's house. Sadly, no mee kari this year (still sad about it). It was nice being there. Akmal pun ada. Being annoying and busybody macam biasa (jk). He is still calling me FD. =_=

Tapi tu lah, I don't know whether it's a part of being an introvert or what, as soon as I landed on bed, I was passed out. In my beautiful jubah. Tak sempat salin pun. Anak dara apa lah ni :') 

Ah and I also made 50 bucks cuz someone wanted my pineapple tarts so I worked hard the day before Eid doing that. Oh and I made my cookies. Which still ada kat dapuq.

And my friends are either getting engaged or married. Me is doing neither. Baguih dak. Please la people stop asking me why. I'm just not ready la people. :'( I am totally happy seeing my friends getting hitched. I mean so much has changed. For the better Insya Allah. Ada yang dulu zaman sekolah pengkid lah, tomboy lah, etc dah nak kahwin. It's a good thing isn't it.

As for me, my mother's friend was asking about us getting hitched in the near future (mine of course la not so near, 7-8 years lg kot, X READY LA WEY), my mother has responded with, "Kalau ada org mai masuk meminang, aku bagi ja." Terlekat kambing golek yg dijamah ye uolls. My sister who is eager to get married also terlekat rendang. That coming from my mother is surprising. She is one incredibly unpredictable person and I love her so much. 

I have a lot to improve as a person. I am rude, insensitive at times, inconsiderate, selfish, mean.. I'm just a bad person. And I apologise if my being and my existence has been an inconvenience to any of you. I truly apologise for any words I have said and any wrongdoings I have done. Please do forgive me.

Okay that part is settled. Now for those who made my life suffer.

I hope in my heart that there is, even if it's not that big, a little conscience left within you guys to feel guilty of what you have done to me. I mean sikit pun jadi lah. If you don't have the guts to say it to my face, I know how hard it is to have courage to admit your faults and to ask for forgiveness, at least have the decency to wish that someday you can. We're human beings, we make mistakes. But please let it be a once in a lifetime thing. Please do not repeat what you did to me to anyone else.

I am trying to be as forgiving as I can and to make peace with everything that has happened. Hatred will only take so much space within me and that is not the best choice to make, for me or for anyone else's. I only have this to say to you. What you did to people, good or bad, will always come back to you. Remember that. Always. Allah S.W.T.. dah janji. And I held to my promises when some of you didn't. It's okay. Your time will come when you will feel how I felt. 

Some of these people, I have loved, cried and hated for a time, even. But even in those times, I tried to find reasons for why they did what they did. I wanted to understand. I don't think I want to anymore. But I'm sure they will come when the right time comes.

Life has taught me so much in these past few years. Especially about people. Maybe I'm destined to meet all the broken people so I can fix them. But how can you fix someone who doesn't want to be fix kan? :(

Now, I'm rambling. Esok kena bangun awai ada dua kenduri k. DUA. Bye everyone. 

May peace be upon you.


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