Sunday, 19 June 2016

Mind Vacation


Hey everyone *wavesfrantically

Did you guys miss me? Lol. I'm totally irrelevant and has no what so ever effects on your lives. Anyway, I finally got an internet connection after being in KL for almost a week now (without MOCHA). Practically, living alone without any breathing being with me here. Another thing checked off on my list.

I miss my fat cat. The weather here doesn't agree with me. It's very cold. I'm not being a child about the temperature but it's freezing in the apartment, no kidding. I had a friend stayed over for the weekend and we both were freezing (didn't stop all the talking though), nak mandi pun takut weh, ayaq macam orang letak ais k. Even she was weird about it. The apartment is so cold. Since it has become a ritual for us to sleep in the middle of the living room, I had to sleep on the sofa which reminded me more of Mocha and how he would pretend to ignore me when I'm awake and then quietly crawled onto the sofa and stayed at my feet and sleep there. He keeps me warm. 

I spend my time wisely here. I get to read some of the books I've been meaning to read for a long time. Most of all, I get to spend the time with myself. This is the break I needed and I'm appreciating it. I stayed positive throughout the week and it's a big yay for me because life has been so hard and it has been wonderful. Even though, I tried so hard not to get out of the house as much. Being an introvert, well, only introverts would know how much we dread going out and meeting people.

Anyway. I got something creepy to tell. It's not that creepy as people hoped I think. 

I remembered being sleepy and I wanted to sleep and my friend who had stayed over was busy studying for her finals, so green light on the sleeping. I was on the sofa as usual. I remembered closing my eyes and I was gone. I didn't remember when I entered deep sleep though.

I don't dream. Even if I do, I have a hard time remembering them. This one was different. It felt as though it was not a dream and I was there. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was a pillow a few steps from me. I recognized the prayer mat. I was trying to make sense of what I was doing at the moment and I came to the conclusion that I was praying. A few seconds passed and someone said, 'Assalamualaikum' from behind me. It was the sound of a man so... manly that it's not human. As it said it, it came closer and wrapped me up with its hands and then it laughed.. A very long laugh and I can't move.

I remembered how I feel. Fear of the foreign thing I know nothing about and the way it laughed tells me exactly what it is, non-human. The only thing I said was 'Allahuakbar' with a stoic expression. It took two times of saying it and the laughter fades and I opened my eyes and I'm back on the sofa. The same way in the dream, I was trying to make sense of where I am and what I was doing. I freaked afterwards but I dare not say a word to my friend because then she would freak out, I chose to be the stronger one. 

It must have meant something. The way it greeted me was like it was mocking me. It made me feel anger but fear as well. I would like it to be just a dream. Let it be just a dream. I did, however, consider other possibilities. Either it followed me home or someone sent it to me. I liked it to be the first one between the two. The second one just made me the next target in someone else's agenda, I have seen it coming but I never expect it to be me. It's funny y'know when people still uses this method to gain something or bring other people down. 

So that's my story. I freaked out the first day and today I feel fine.. Since my friend left me this morning, let's see how tonight goes pulak. I hope it's not a hidden meaning of some sort like my subconscious is trying to convey a message.. The complexity of it all, even thinking about it makes me go dizzy.

Whatevs. Like I said, life is so hard sometimes I'm amazed I'm still here. Alhamdulillah. 

Gotta go. Till next time. 

May peace be upon you.


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