Sunday, 13 March 2016

Time Off

Salam

This is me retreating from everyone's life. I'm taking some time off to focus on myself. 

I'm stuck with this feeling that whatever I do, it will never be enough. Hence, I keep going back to the past, analyzing every situation and event to find what did I do wrong. Directly putting myself under scrutiny. I've been honest. I did my best. I tend to forget that. It is my fault for putting other people's happiness first instead of mine. Now, I'm making a stand, no more. If I'm unapproachable, then I'm sorry. But if you are a coward then it's none of my business. 

Read this carefully. I will not look for you. I will not ask for you. I will not search for you. I will not even say your name.

It's not hate.. It's nothing. I have wasted my time with these people for so long. They can never give it back to me. So much time wasted for nothing. So much effort wasted for nothing. I have no idea why I always have the urge to make an effort so that people would like me in the first place. It's stupid. 

Convince me why I should let you into my life and you're in. What is so bloody difficult about that? I've been telling on and on and on and on again in this blog. I'm not interested in how much savings you have in your bank account or where you come from or which type of house you live in or how skinny you are or how good looking you are, I'm interested in you. Thank you for taking an interest in me. You got my attention. I want to know you too. Simple as that. Just you. Why is it so hard to get that to penetrate into your brain? 

Why can't two people have an honest conversation with each other? I want to know who you are so much that it kills me inside that you keep hiding behind these walls you put around yourself. I understand the reason for the walls. Just let me in. It's hard I know, it's worth it I promise..

Now, if only I have the courage to say that out loud. It would be lovely. *sigh




Here's my current favorite song from Adele but this is a cover not the actual song. Adele, just when will you sing this live?



 





Will not be posting as much. My grandfather has been diagnosed with Alzheimer, please pray for his health, that's all I ask of you who actually read this till the end. You guys are the bomb. Thank you so much for reading. 

May peace be upon you.

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